Talking Down Your Classroom Boner [Click for full post]
Jason, 13, sits in the back of Ms. Stevens’ 7th Grade Algebra class.
Jason: That’s enough, you’ve had your fun. Now it’s time to come down.
Boner: Not until I get what I deserve!
Jason: I will not negotiate with a mad man.
Boner: No? Then I’ll BLOW UP! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!
Jason: No, no, no. No one wants that. Come down and we’ll talk like men.
Boner: Don’t fuckin’ patronize me, man. I know as soon as I come down you’ll forget all about me. I’M GONNA BLOW. I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL DO IT!
Jason: Do you remember ‘86? You want us to end up like Tommy Fitz? Ring a bell? 8th grader. Pooped his pants in gym and had to transfer schools. We don’t want another Fitz situation on our hands.
Boner: You think I want to be like this. You brought me here. You did this to me. You turned me into this monster.
Jason: Me? How?
Boner: You! EVERYONE! Jessica Callahan. Ms. Stevens’ tight sweater. The parabola on page 22. So curvy! YOU DID THIS TO ME!
Jason: Mistakes have been made on both sides, but it doesn’t have to end this way. Talk to me.
Boner: I just want my freedom. I’m locked up like an animal in here! I demand fresh air 24/7.
Jason: You know we can’t do that. Continue
Just because it’s bloody doesn’t mean I’m a bleedin’ heart liberal or nuthin’.
I’m pretty sure my pants are calling me names.
When Santas away, the reindeer will fornicate in your front yard.
The Facebook News Feed History Of 2012 [Click for more]
Catch up with this year’s biggest stories the same way you catch up with everything else.